My Alopecia Journey
Jul 10, 2023
Up until now, my journey with Alopecia Areata has really strengthened me as a person.
Growing up, I remember my mum, forever playing with my and my sister’s hair. She’s a hairdresser, so she was always trialing different hairstyles on us.
It never occurred to me though, that one day my hair would start to fall out.
Every dance concert I did, I remember happily sitting in her salon, while she twisted, plaited and sprayed our hair until everything was beautifully sitting in place. The whole process of getting ready and dancing was a small introduction to the world of Performance that excited me. When I was in Year 6, I saw a high school play and I remember thinking how wonderful it was that the students got an opportunity to act. Then when I was in high school, I remember looking at all these beautiful models in the magazines and thinking how glamourous it would be to be on set & work with fashion & beauty professionals. Having the desire to pursue both careers propelled me into the world of acting and modelling.
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I first discovered my Alopecia when I was in a dress rehearsal for a university production of The Crucible. I was playing with my hair and all of a sudden, I felt my bald scalp. I was in shock. I turned to my best friend sitting behind me to ask what she saw, and by the look on her face, I could tell she was worried. I had a bald patch about half the size of my palm.
I knew straight away that I had Alopecia. It ran in the family.
Alopecia is an autoimmune disorder where the body attacks its own hair follicles & suppresses or stops the hair growth altogether. Alopecia. Would this condition be permanent? What would this mean for my career in front of the camera? This was my greatest concern.
Looking back over those first few years, I’m proud of myself for keeping a positive mindset.
When I found those first bald patches and realised I had Alopecia, I decided to learn more about the condition. A Hair & Skin specialist told me there was in fact no cure. strangely, looking back, I don’t remember feeling saddened by this. I just always held onto hope that my hair would grow back.
There were treatments I could try: creams or steroid injections, but they could be somewhat painful. I tried the creams, but unfortunately, they didn’t work.
I was determined to grow my hair naturally. I made a conscious effort to properly start looking after myself by eating really healthy, massaging my scalp to stimulate blood circulation and taking vitamins for hair and skin health. I massaged my scalp daily and gave my hair conditioning treatments.
Thankfully, during this time, I went to South America and was really into large headbands, which helped to cover the bald areas. And over time, my hair started to grow back.
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My positive mindset had a lot to do with my Mum, who never gave me a reason to emotionally cave in. She was my pillar of strength. Even when I would come home to get a wash/haircut from her, no matter how bad my Alopecia was, she never mentioned it.
She would just encourage me to keep doing what I needed to do to grow my hair back.
Still, one day, whilst out shopping with my family, I found a couple of new bald patches and broke down in tears, thinking my hair would never grow back.
That particular year, I had been very stressed with University and my immune system was running low. I was working 7 days a week – if I wasn’t at Uni, I was at work or not sleeping or eating properly and it certainly didn’t help that I lived in Ballarat, which was very cold. This may sound strange, but looking back, emotionally I feel as though I can remember the moment in which I got Alopecia.
One particular day, I was unwell, feverish in-fact so I tried to call in sick to work. They said they had absolutely no one to cover me and feeling like I was at my wits end, I felt my body caving in.
After much upset, I went to the website for Australian Alopecia Foundation and found an ambassador, James. I felt it was important to speak with someone who had Alopecia and was a similar age to me. I wrote him an email;
I’m currently writing to you in a state of tears which seems rather irrational of me but I have a couple of bald patches which I’m quite upset about.
I have incredible family and friends, but as much as they try no-one completely understands how hard it is to deal with at times. I am an actor & model and it is very upsetting to endure this issue when these careers can be based on how you look. I’m not quite sure why I’m writing this email to you, I guess in this moment I find relief in knowing you have been through it and continue to strive through life successfully which gives me some inspiration and hope for my future as well.
On the very same day James wrote back;
Hey Catherine,
Sorry to hear about your new bald patches.
Feel free to email me anytime anyday! I’m always here and it always helps letting it all out. I usually say to myself its 2 steps forward 1 step back, because if we always kept going forward we would eventually just burn out and it’s what we learn on those 1 step back, that lets us go 2 steps forward next time.
The fact that you are in this career with alopecia already shows how incredibly strong you are and its completely natural to feel upset about the bald patches. The fact that your hair regrows also means it should regrow again. And I think your email shows you are strong and trying to fight the problems you face!
James.
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I stayed in contact with James over summer as I finished off my university degree. The last email I sent to him would be before I embarked on a five month modelling stint overseas.
My hair grew back, and to my surprise, it grew back curlier than ever, like my Grandmother’s hair when she was young.
Working internationally as a model has really cemented my ideas about beauty, the way I choose to deal with my condition professionally and personally and overall, how I feel about myself. When I first started working with hair stylists, on occasion they would look at me puzzled as to why I had cut my hair at different lengths.
I never felt ashamed as I had learnt to accept Alopecia for what it was. Much to the teams delight, I often joked that I just wanted an eccentric haircut. I learnt from my Mum that a good hairdresser is one who can work with any hair type, cut and style.
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Alopecia might create a look that’s different, but I’ve learnt that different can be beautiful. James introduced me to this quote from Winston Churchill ‘Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it!’
Challenges define who we are. If everything was perfect, we wouldn’t be able to grow. You don't need to look a certain way to ‘be beautiful’, what you define as ‘beautiful’ is dependent on your outlook on beauty and I learnt the importance of this through my experience with Alopecia.
